The existentiality of de-existence; Now

“We are going to end up together, but not now, as now is the result of many befores and mine were bad, this kind of bad that clings on all the nows that follows, heavening it with doubts, questions, regrets and questions, making my now not yet present and for you I want to be.

I am sorry.”

At this moment it would have been very convenient for him to sign with his name like he always does, but this time he didn’t feel the relationship between those letters and himself, he kept starring at the blank space in front of him not knowing how to close it, he looked at a nearby mirror trying to figure out what would represent him at the moment, what would be the one item that would sign these words making them his, “but are they?” he wondered, while looking to all these stalks of books he had on a shelf nearby, are these words his or theirs, how original is he, does he even think for himself or is he just a mere reflection of what all these others wanted him to be.

“Be, what a big word for only two letters” he thought.

Amid the thinking his phone rang announcing a new deadline for next week and like any Millennial who knows that work always comes first, he saved the draft in the “to be sent” folder.


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