How to maintain your pseudo-celebrity status on Social Media?

I remember the days before social media when I would get few phone calls per day and 20 – 30 emails. I felt exhausted by the pace of communication.

Now we’ve traded the telephone for other connection points (I only get 2-3 calls per day), but I lost count of the people I interact with on daily basis, my social circles have been ballooning and intersecting into a labyrinth of opportunities and disappointments.

The number of “inboxes” we possess is staggering: Email,  Twitter, Twitter DM,  Facebook, Facebook messages, Facebook chat, Linkedin messages, public Google +, Google + messages, blog comments, Skype, text messages and Instagram.

That’s not only a lot of relationship bait in the water but also an exhausting process hence we as humans have and in a moment of collective consciousness decided that each and every platform of those requires a certain way of behavior or else you are the outcast kid sitting alone on the side chair watching as the others engage in a game of football at school allover again.

On Twitter; One is either a heartbroken, suicidal, whiny philosopher or a political analyst/activist and an avid human rights believer. before 2011 being funny and sarcastic was enough, then there was revolutions.

On Facebook; One should be a family guy, who despises mainstream music and movies, successful enough so their exes would burn with regret and frustration and school colleagues would bite the dust for bullying them back in the days.

On Instagram; One should always be colorful, happy, hanging out, partying, playing sports or eating most of the time. Appreciating the opportunity life has given them to  show the world what did they have for dinner and how groundbreaking they are when it comes to underwear shopping.

On LinkedIn; One has to have a long ass usually inconsistent resume of made up projects and skills, like one can write about that day when he killed a cockroach by them self or the other time when they actually met a deadline.

On Tumblr; One has to be a thriving artist who appreciates conceptualism as well as post modernism but with an edge, a dark sense of humor and usually have to share some Kafka quotes to justify their misuse of the word Kafkaesque on every other comment.

Google+ is the price you have to pay for having all these awesome applications. Just ignore it.

How do we justify this? How do we convince ourselves that slicing our attention so thin the turkey becomes translucent is a good idea? is a question yet to be answered by future Scholars who would be studying us in the future, meanwhile enjoy your pseudo-celebrity status.


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