Crucifying dreams on a severed beat while praying for resurrection is what it is. You are you and I am me. We are not destined to be one. The we and us does not exist. Your invulnerability is unbearable. I am not the one to play the victim. I make a decision to bring myself together and renounce you. You smile.
You smile, the core of my being lingers to that it might be something that I’ve done. Seeding a brightness in my eyes that blinds me of everything but yours. Your eyes. Your eyes who refuse to see me as I am and only see me as you want me to be. I nod as if I understand your gesture, as if I know you inside out like I claim, then I remember, I repent the sin that is you, the you that filled my senses and the “I” I was losing in the process. You unclose your lips.
You unclose your lips and all I can think of is how they would taste on mine. The sound of us breathing together answering my call towards eternity while I listen to your blabbering about me, the me you think I am. I lose focus as your voice weaves words into sentences that in my head are talking the voice of God, God in the sense of the nothing from which everything emerged and it plays on my chords like no song or a prayer could. I touch you.
I touch you and all my conquests, failures, shortcomings and achievements fail to describe how it feels. A state of sheer being where I am taken over by the smell of your skin mesmerized on how getting inside of you would be my pilgrimage, my haven, my raison d’être. I try thinking of something else, someone else but I fail.
I fail to remind myself that I am not your first neither are you mine. I can’t fathom how it is possible that you’ve had a life before me. You are the manifestation of my insatiable lust, need and anger. You exist, because I asked for you. You are my own creation and whatever ghostly existence you might have had or I might have practiced was just an exordium.
Crucifying dreams on a severed beat while praying for resurrection is what it is , you are me and I am you, we are destined to be one, the we and us does exist, your invulnerability is unbearable. I am not the one to play the victim. I make a decision to bring myself together and kiss you. You smile.