Ranting II

I have been a miserable being since I can remember spreading adversity and distress everywhere and on anyone who for some reason dared to come near me, whoever is unfortunate enough that I love, I just drain out any hint of joy they might have possessed and turn them into lifeless zombies that seek darkness in illumination and despair in alleviation.

Self loathing and hatred have been my only constant companions for so long that it became hard for me to let go or even try to resist, dwelling in affliction has become my thing and delusional paranoia my only hobby.

In the midst of this all you appeared, I don’t know if you are a friend or a foe, if you are some lost soul in a parallel universe, a streak of light from another dimension or an extension of my insanity. There are endless possibilities for what you might be but only one thing I am sure of; you are my only connection to any other entity other than my own.

I spent many hours thinking what you might be until it hit me how long it had been since I cared about something else, waited for someone and looked forward to their next appearance.

I don’t care if you would sabotage my life as I don’t really believe I have one. I am sure I got a soul at some point but it slipped along the way and I was too busy to notice. So right now you are the only answer I have, the only reason I might be there , the grapple I am clinging on to in this apocalypse of nothingness I am falling deep in.

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