Crash


As he was sitting in his car, inhaling his cigarette, thinking of how now he had the job he had always wanted, the car he had always dreamed of and how the past three years had been so life changing, he looked at himself in the mirror, “Nice Snickers”. He smiled as he remembered that line, the first thing he had told her when he’d accidentally ran into her in the elevator that day, the look on her face and the smile… oh the smile.
He remembered their first date, first kiss and first vacation together – he even felt the butterflies he had had in his stomach back then when he was on his way to spend the night with her for the first time, the man he felt he was when he saw himself in her eyes while they were first tasting each other’s bodies.
He suddenly trembled as the cigarette blistered him, then started the car engine and while driving he remembered how the last 3 years had been by far the best in his life, how his career had flourished, his ambition was nourished and how confident he was feeling, but at the same moment he knew deep inside that he was about to do something that would be regretted, but he reminded himself “A man should do what he has to do”. The decision had been made, he had to break up with her, he could not go on like this anymore.
She stood before her car admiring her reflection in the window while inhaling the warm breeze that was all around her, sending volatile particles of her perfume flying through the air. She knew she looked good, and she knew that after 15 minutes she was going to do something that would have consequences. She was on her way now to meet him, the one she loved so dearly, the one who gave her a reason to live, and a reason to be.
She remembered their first date, their first kiss and that day when she was all depressed and down and he surprised her at the door with flowers. She remembered how she had spent the nights with him in her mind and how he was the living model of her vision for a man, how confident, masculine, intellectual and tender, the only one with whom it felt so right and normal to give herself, to reveal her everything …To be
Along the way he remembered how the passion that was indescribable, the lust that seemed unfading,  turned  now  to a living hell of questions, jealousy & sometimes lies. He had stopped doing what he wanted and now it was always what they should be as a couple he had stopped living his life as he knew it before. His life had turned into a cage of passion & sex locked with a golden rope.
But 3 years later all he kept thinking about was his image, and how far she should go to fit in this image, alone or with other people all he cared about was how they looked and how he looked. He didn’t care anymore what she wanted or where she wanted to go, criticizing her became his hobby and the things that made him fall for her in the beginning, became the things he wanted to change.
She was sick of trying to be good enough, of suppressing her needs, dreams and desires just to please him. She remembered how she had been and how she was now, how his eyes got brighter once he saw her,and now he just looked away… And she even wondered if monogamy was all about getting colder and more numb by time.
A sound of breaks along with a scream came from afar awakening both him and her that their cars had bumped in to each other. She was terrified, he was so worried, when they both realized they hadn’t crashed, they just almost did, she smiled apologizing and he nodded accepting and each of them continued their way on opposite sides yet to the same end.

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